Jennifer Fallon - the Official Site

If, like me, you were the parent of a small boy in the 1980’s, then you need no introduction to the Transformers, the toys cars that cleverly turned into robots. If you had to pick up after said small boy, or worse, go Christmas shopping for him, you’ll know that after their world is destroyed, the evil Decepticons, led by Megatron, came to Earth where they battle the goody-two-shoes (or should that be goody-four-wheels) Autobots, led by the noble and corny-enough-to-make- you-puke Optimus Prime. You’ll know this because you had to buy them. All of them. And you cursed a lot when stood on them accidently in the middle of the night.

So, with a plot thought up by the marketing department of Hasbro Toys, it’s a pleasant surprise to discover Michael Bay has actually managed to pull a halfway decent movie from the toy packaging. This is helped enormously by the acting of Josh Duhamel, John Voight and Shia Lebouf as Sam, (the 11th grader who finds himself saving the world) and, one suspects, the weather eye kept on the proceedings by Executive Producer, Steven Spielberg.

Make no mistake, however, this film is still pitched straight at the toys’ prime demographic, and unless you are firmly in touch with your inner 12 year old boy, stay away.

The film’s CGI is flawless. It is long and loud, and filled with more explosions per square inch than a Die Hard film. It is also peppered with lots of humour, some of it in your face (like the bystander claiming the alien who just crashed into his street is “way cooler than [the Bay directed] Armageddon”), some of it quite subtle (John Turturro’s underwear is a crack up). I also found the whole premise of the Transformers tracking down the hapless Sam, who inadvertently holds the key to ultimate power, though eBay, a twist only the 21st century could provide.

And while on the topic of product placement, you have to wonder what General Motors paid to have the Autobots turn into their cars. Even poor old Bumblebee, who used to be a VW Beetle, is now a Chevy Camaro. Sacrilege.

We will not even speak of what they did to Optimus Prime.

But still, in a world that seemed doomed to suffer nothing but threequels this holiday season, it’s nice to see a film that delivers something fresh, even if the “fresh” is rehashed from a 1980’s cartoon developed solely to sell more toys. The film has a plot, good acting, gobsmackingly- good special effects and provided you don’t sit there wondering why hi-tech alien robots would settle their disputes with a good old-fashioned punch-up, it actually makes a twisted kind of sense.

All I can say is, I wish I had thought to buy shares in Hasbro.